when seeing is believing..everything that happens in life,
happens for a reason.
sometimes the reasons are better left unknown.
but now, i realised...
the reason would slowly unfold itself.
one by one.
taking all the time it needs to.
but slowly and eventually,
everything would make sense.
and the pieces of the puzzle, would then
form the complete picture.
up to date,
i've learnt many things from life itself.
no textbooks could ever come close to..
i've felt what it is like to feel that nothing could ever go wrong.
just cause you have the greatest thing you could ever
ask for in your life. that amount of happiness that
is contained within you that words could not describe.
i've felt how it is like to have your world come crashing
down on you. feel like tomorrow means nothing anymore.
and the amount of pain that lingers inside you,
just wud not go away evn if you tried
exchanging it for every drop of blood in your vein..
i've also lost the things i hold close to my heart,
within a blink of an eye.
its never easy to live every day
with the reminder of two people
closest to you, who went and never came back..
and it all happened right in front of your eyes.
and one, who saw you since your diaper days..
left without being able to say goodbye,
simply cause you're too far away.
every step in this life, has its lessons.
its how you choose to look at these lessons
that make you the person you are today.last couple of weeks
hasnt been the easiest for me.
and its not likely to change
for the next couple of weeks or even months.
whatever i've done, am doing and will do..
whatever i've gone thru, am going thru and will go thru.
i'm willing to face it.
sincerely and patiently
and i ask for nothing in return.
cause that's not for me to decide, but rather
for The Almighty to determine
what's best for me.i love babies.
its all that is keeping me smiling these days.
besides my family and friends.
Sisqa and Shabeer (baby) really make my week.
i don't know how to describe this feeling,
but sigh.. having them around just makes every pain go away.
been calling Saffy for a few days now,
just to talk to Sisqa. (and to talk to you too)
her baby talk never fails to make me smile.
oh gosh. you shd just listen to her.
' i love youuuuuu'
' auntie, dont be sad'
and Sisqa trying to read out prayer verses
are just so very cute (:
seeing baby grow is seriously the highlight in my life, for now.
how i used to carry him around, trying to make him sleep.
holding his milk bottle and even have him puking on me.
from being so fragile, i saw him crawl around the house.
slowly trailing behind him, making sure that he doesnt
put stuffs into his mouth or injure himself.
now lil baby, is able to walk.
well, he was unstable two weeks ago when i went
all the way to his house to see him.
and at the same time keep my mind off stuffs.
carefully followed him behind, see his diapers
move about as he walks.
haha. cutest thing ever.
and then a couple of days ago, he was already running.
haha. purposely pretend to catch him, and
he starts running. so cute i tell you (:
once u start singing,
' row row row your boat..'
he starts shaking his head from side to side..
and when you sing to the part,
'if you see a crocodile, dont forget to scream...'
and he goes...' ahhhhh!'
and what's sweeter is when he says,
'didi' and looks at you with his big round eyes.
haha makes me imagine how my cousin
would have felt cause she's there throughout
every single progress that baby made...
the joy of life (:speaking of babies,
i dunno how i'm gg to watch
radiation therapist injecting general
anaesthesia into babies before giving them treatment.
babies who have to go through treatment
are usually leukaemia patients,
a blood cancer.
sigh. there has been occurrences where
babies don't wake up after the dosage is given.
and i don't think i'm up for that..
seriously re-thinking about this path i'm taking..
ku telah miliki
rasa indahnya perihku
rasa hancurnya harapku
kau lepas cintaku
aku hanya ingin kau tahu
besarnya cintaku
tingginya khayalku bersamamu
walaupun semua hanya ada dalam mimpiku
hanya dalam anganku
ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu
sepenuhnya ku menyadari
bahwa cinta itu tak mesti harus memiliki
handai telah tertulis ku terima dan aku pasrah
ini bukannya ku pinta
saat kau pergi,
berlinganglah airmataku.._____________________________________________________
reply to tags:
passerby:
hey there (: my apologies for the late reply to your tags. as my friends would have mentioned. i've been keeping myself busy. yeap, true that i myself dont understand the meaning behind 'time tells it all' i bet you don't too. but you have to live thru today, to know what opportunities tomorrow brings. hence, the issue of time is being raised ;) i hope you understand. its not an obsession with time, but i'm living thru today, so that insya-Allah, if my time isnt up yet, i get to see what tomorrow brings for me (:
haha wow, i didnt know how i look like would affect you too. but hey, i didnt ask to be born looking like this. nobody asked to look the way they are. i'm sure if we had it our way, we would ask for some changes here and there. but, God must have had reasons for making me to look like this. i'm thankful that i'm born almost perfect. able to see, talk, walk, listen, feel, understand. not many people are as lucky as we are. observe your surroundings more dear friend, then you'd be able to appreciate the gifts God has given us. yeah, i'm not perfect. nobody is. God is always fair. rmb that (:
dear tagger, i've got a burning question for you.
how do you really measure a person's care and concern for another? cause i honestly
do not know how to judge that. if you would be kind enough to tell me how to judge, then i'd be able to tell you whether he cares or not (: one more thing, why does it even bother you if he cares or not? haha. if he does, its good for me. if he doesnt, then too bad for me. i'm sorry but i really dont see how all these are affecting you. care to explain?
friend, how we felt for one another, doesnt really matter to you does it? cause its between the two of us. and i hope you respect that. what we have, was between the two of us. dont see how all these is affecting you actually.. hey, if i am a phase in his life, why are you getting all upset about it?
hmmmm.. your concern about me really touch my heart. but seriously, you dont have to alright? firstly cause i dont even know you. you might know me. but you refuse to tell me who you are since you first tagged. so be it. its your choice.
secondly, as you can tell by now.. i have friends who are really concerned about me. and i know exactly who these people are. so i can extend my words of thanks to them, in person. but i cant do the same for you, simply cause.. by choice, you choose to remain anonymous. so it pains me to not be able to thank someone for showing so much care and concern for me. so unless you choose to tell me who you are, please stop caring.
haha you really know how to make me laugh eh. i guess you really dont know me afterall, to say such things about contact lenses and all.. believe what you wanna believe, and continue to think what you wanna think (: maybe in time, you'd learn the truth.
haha how you know i cry in the corner of my room? so now you're telling me you're spying on me huh? hahaha. oh okay... i do cry. so what? its what we girls do best when overdosage of chocolates and excessive hugs from your girlfriends still doesnt work. haha i cant believe, me crying is a problem to you. omg. you're too caring. tsk tsk (: believe me.. sooner of later the tears would dry up. cause i probably ran out of it. or i'm just to tired to cry anymore. so PLEASE, dont worry alright? (:
now, as for me waiting or dwelling in this lil world of mine. it has got nothing to do with you or anyone else alright? unless you're my family or my bestest best friends. it my time that we're talking about here. so i guess, i have the right to do whatever i want with it right? at least till my time is up. so please, since you clearly dont respect me as the owner of the blog, at least, respect my rights as a person to do what i want to do with my own life (:
i hope you're satisfied with my reply of the tags that you've given. i apologise for being sarcastic with my replies. no harm intended. once again, i appreciate your care and concern about the things going on in my life, but seriously... i rather have people who i know caring for me ;)
hope you are content with the answers that i've bothered typing (: take care!
nurull:
hey! thanks for d advice (:
haha dont worry,
i'm not bothered by what our dear tagger tagged.
haha thanks for the insights (:
'm just glad that he's happier now......
insya-Allah, everything fall into place and
would turn out great for him. ameen.
rid.sham:
hey dude. haha you're not supposed to say this kinda thing on a tagboard. haha i guess i just
needed the fresh air? haha thats why i was out at that hour. besides its not as if i was at the beach right. just in front of my block only.
hahaha.. err.. well.. sometimes things arent so easy as you want it to be and truth hurts. real bad sometimes. was in dilemma whether to believe what i saw or to believe what someone says... the tears will stop. eventually. thanks for taggin! see ya around (:
ran:
hey didi. thanks for being there. haha and what are you doin, taggin my blog all during class? tsk tsk. dun pay attention... tsk tsk.
hahaha. dont anyhow say arh didi. i've got many flaws to start with. thats why i landed myself into this mess that i've created. so, no one else is to be blamed but me (: see ya in school.
afeefaah:
hey there. haha, the things people do these days, when they've got too much time to spare. passerby is just showing excessive concern. hahaha. thats a better way to put it ;) thanks for taggin! (:
and to eeeeduh, safwanah, arep, anitha, nurin, syimah, zaz and all those who tagged
trying to stand up for me. thank you very much. i really appreciate all that you guys did for me.
thank you once again...but why does my heart still chose to trust?