past two days of school hasnt been good at all.
lets recap
monday
the longest day of the week.
without any fun subjects AT ALL.
there was Lit. but it was Gatsby.
i think the savior subject would be
Chemistry.
revision for today's test.
hoho. and i didnt hafta run four rounds
like the majority of the class.
i sat at the hall slacking with prisc.
at night, study like crazy for chemistry.
grrr.
tuesday.
went to school two periods late.
go figure.
woke up 7.45am.
went to school at nine.
chemistry test was horrible and terrible.
me and danial are gg to fail.
shalini claims tt she's gonna fail too.
but i dont think so.
nurul and adi claims the same, which i doubt
would happen.
hidayah, she's a silent mugger. grr.
comfirm can pass.
so the rest of the day became even more depressing.
got scolded in chemistry.
most of us didnt bring concept map.
its weird when Mr Oscar keeps quiet.
it really is that guilt therapy.. hell yeah its working.
we've got a maths test tomoro.
MJC's birthday present to me.
something which i'm gonna flung. again.
we did some practice exercise.
and i managed to answer one question.
I'M SO SMART.
shalini too.
OTHELLO Tutorial is LOVEEEEE.
omg i think i'm damn in love with the book.
well, its almost as much as i love pride and prejudice.
its getting there. every tutorial makes me love it more.
unlike other classes, i think the ppl in my class
only has LIT to fall back on.
cause i think we take it damn seriously plus with passion.
so yeah it makes the learning process a lot more interesting.
maybe if we did the same for maths and chem, it might just work.
i dunno, but shall try it when the new month starts.
*hint hint* two days time (:
so we learnt more about the tragedy that fell upon Othello.
and a lil bit about Iago's personality...
mikeeeeeee.
Fitzwilliam Darcy or Iago?
i'm so confused.
Last day of being SEVENTEEN.
omg. i feel damn old.
i shall write a long post, walking down
memory lane about being
SEVENTEEN.
___________________________________________________________________
pass few days, i think i've committed some mistakes.
causing me two of the people close to me.
girlfriend and closefriend.
girlfriend.
you didnt want to hear anything from me.
all i had in mind was for your interest,
not to make u look bad.
to let him know that you are not the same as the rest.
learnt that i'm not the only one you told abt things that concerns this.
so yeah. i tell what i think is neccessary.
and i kept my end of the promises and swears
i made upon our friendship.
thinking that it would help.
i didnt know what exactly went wrong that made everything happen.
but yeah. whatever it is,
i apologise for hurting, disappointing you and everything else along
those lines. i'm sorry okay. dont even think u'd understand but yeah..
i hope things would be able to be the same.
if its even possible.
close friend.
i have my reasons for staying away from ya.
it was all about fury but my guilt caught up with me
soon after.
my apologies for leaving you behind.
but thats exactly how i felt when the same is done.
an eye for an eye; is not usually my style,
but sometimes when the limit is up, its up.
things would be back to the same from now on (:
i'm sorry.
_______________________________________________________________
i received a birthday card at my door step.
what was written in it
is very sweet and touched my heart (:
thanks for the card hafiz (:
it really means a lot.
i dont know what to expect tomorrow.
from the looks of it,
i didnt end if off well..
by hurting two of my friends.
___________________________________________________________________
countdown: ONE
and i dont wanna miss you tonight...
27th January 2007
had to be the greatest day ever.
i had my early birthday celebration with my lovely friends (:
though not all of them cud make it but
i STILL had fun (:
1545hrs
i met gerry at the usual hangout.
City Hall MRT station.
we made our way to Marina Square MacDonalds
where we met the rest of the gang.
Fahmi, Shahril and Pingsiew.
fons, apriee, zul, and nick couldnt make it.
sad, but i was happy tt shiewwww was there.
haha long time didnt see her -hugggs-
den after that, we made our way to watch
SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS.
a MUST WATCH. damn funny and damn cool.
the its slike the movie giving its viewers
a leson about life in a very light manner. haha.
just go watch la. worth it.
at macs the guys passed me a present.
shahril just REFUSE to pass me the plastic bag.
simply, i had to hug it everywhere i go!
haha. you mean-o
when i gave my tix to the person,
she passed me a bouquet of flowers (:
haha. it had 8 BLUE ROSES.
damn paisehh can. got a lot of ppl.
den went into the movie a lil late oso.
haha. me and shiew shared NACHOS n coke.
hahaha. and i manage to get some popcorn
from the guys (:
during the movie, ril had to leave.
he's dad gt admitted to the hospital.
hope things are fine for ya bro (:
after the movie. made our way to SWENSEN'S.
haha. they made a reservation!?
bumped into commando anei. who was apparently
'rushing back' on the way there.
me fahmi n gerry had fish and chips.
which was superlicious!
and shieww had cray fish pasta (:
after that we had dessert.
EARTHQUAKE!
it was fanatastic! seriuosly.
i was amazed when i saw it (:
so biggggggg.
all of us dig in while fahmi telling his
stories and all of us started to catch up
on each others' life. haha
i miss ping siew. i swear.
not to mention fahmi keep disturbing her abt being spastic.
haha. she with her slingbag, shoebag and hockey stick!
so cute (:
after the EARTHQUAKE,
i had a special slice of cake for me.
which i had to finish it all on my own.
not that i'm complaining abt ice cream
but, i was really very full from the first course
of ice cream!
after that. another complementary ice cream was served.
along with ANOTHER bouquet of flowers.
this time it has got NINE BLUE ROSES ((:
hahahas so funny. i was like,
'wahseyy, hw to walk ard town with 2 bouquets!'
they sang me a birthday song (:
and i made my birthday wish!
so again, we finished e ice cream no matter what
THREE COURSES OF ICE CREAM.
all at one shot.
how cooooooool is that (:
after that, we made our way to suntec.
haha. where the Fountain of Wealth is.
we just sat there and listen to the music and
everything. until...
i went to talk to fahmi.
didnt knw what i wished for last year actually came true.
only tt it was interpreted wrongly.
haha.
okay back to the suspense.
UNTIL.... -drum roll-
i heard a song dedication for me!
Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden
and along with it comes a message.
its this laser thing that is reflected on the water mist.
so damn sweeeet lah.
really was touched (:
following that,
fahmi and commando anei came with
a HUGE CHOCOLATE CAKE.
it was really gigantic from SECRET RECIPE.
i was like... what the hell!
speechless.
so another birthday song was sung.
and i cut the cake.
haha it had the big fat number 18 there!
wahseyy i really feel old lah.
we ate the cake and just chill there.
me and shiew went camwhore-ing.
haha (: it was really great.
i opened the presents. haha.
i got a big cute blue bear.
its really damn cuddly.
Love it! now i know what to hug
when i'm feeling down (:
wud definitely remind me of you guys (:
i have a box of chocolates from ChOCz
and along with it is another BLUE rose.
8+9+1 = 18
my eigthteenth rose! haha
i never thought my 18th birthday would be
so much fun and lovely like this one.
it definitely is better than the sweet seventeen.
having big celebrations is nothing compared
to spending it with people who are
very important and close to my heart.
my central family (:
fahmi, shahril, pingsiew, fiona, apriee, gerry, zul, nick
and commando anei
my birthday would have been nothing
without you guys.
and special thanks to fahmi, shahril and shiew for executing
everything and BIG thanks to commando anei
for organising everything ((:
friendship exist to fill up the gaps that love creates.
i guess, my friends are all i need at the moment (:
i love you guys.
_____________________________________________________________________________________Your Birth Month is January 
You are a natural leader who is able to stand up when no one else can.
Strong and powerful, you tend to overshadow those around you.
Your soul reflects: deep love, fascination with life, and a distinctive persona
Your gemstone: Garnet
Your flower: Snowdrop
Your colors: Black, dark red, and dark blue
_____________________________________________________________________________________Aquarius - Your Love Profile 
Your positive traits:
You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.
Your negative traits:
In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.
Your ideal partner:
Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks
Your dating style:
Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.
Your seduction style:
Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.
Tips for the future:
Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.
Best color to attract mate: Sky blue
Best day for a date: Wednesday
_____________________________________________________________________________________You Are 12 Years Old 
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
_____________________________________________________________________________________Your Love Life Secrets Are 
Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.
Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships.
You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.
In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.
Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.
____________________________________________________________________________________
random stuffs i do to entertain myself today.
more about me. so comments.
hrmm, now there's proof that i'm still like a kid.
You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
heh. there's nothing wrong in being a kid afterall (:
i wont agrue much when someppl tease me.
grrr.
the very first one, abt january babies.
i think the most very true one that
i think links with me would be...
fascination with life.
strong and powerful is kinda too big for me
judging from my size. hehe (:
and i love blue!
any shades of them.
my love profile.
haha really shocking but hell yeah.
its kinda true to a big extent.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
hafiz, you would totally agree to this.
and someppl would say,
' see, i told ya so.'
mikeeeeee. coming to think abt it.
everyting seems almost so true.
freaky!
pssst. the love life secret's out.
haha. very deep words written in there.
but maybe that how i am.
but hey, i'm not what i am (:
Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.
is this true fiz?
___________________________________________________________________
i've been going out with somebody's boyfriend.
even if i dont know the whole
truth yet.
shiew is the 987654th person to tell me that.
i feel very bad rather than sad.
mikeee. its not cool okay sigh.
i've got all the reasons to run away from you now.
and i've got all the reasons to stay out at the beach.
and it gives you all the reasons to be quiet
until you decide to hand over the truth.
ooh look what u've done,
u've made a fool of everyone..
OUCH.
i cant tell fahmi.
and i really am glad i told him about everything
before all this.
i should have listened to him.
next time i decide to go out with a guy,
he's gonna be the first to know. promise.
as for now. i'll just swallow in the pain.
its ironic how you want to be the one i open up to
with all these happening.
wait. karma.
sigh. the more i shouldnt be complaining.
i shall just be quiet.
i wonder what the truth is.
i've already asked you more than twice in fact.
and you said none of these would have happened
if you were...
gonna get back to muggin now.
more pics to be uploaded when this
thing doesnt give me problems.
grrr.
___________________________________________________________________
countdown: 3 days
i cant dream yet another dream
without you lying next to me,
there's no air...
didnt blog for the past week.
busy with the hectic schedule. more like
the 'no life' schedule.
highlights of the week before.
went for JAM n HOP
with the east gang. haha.
(i'm an east-adopt)
parents sent me and eeduh and eeduh's bro there.
told me they'd pick me up once i'm done!
cool can? which was about 10.45pm? haha.
i had a lot of fun.
met a lot of CLTs there.
majority are East people.
but who cares?!
Ijil was there too. haha with his girlfriend.
my cousin's hott ((:
okay. went crazy. thanks to eeeduh, rifah, feeq and sofia.
haha. eeduh actually told sofia i cant dance.
thanks eh!
but i had fun. and i did dance. haha. coolio.
though i got freaked out a lot of times.
but i'm learning yeah.
sunday was loveeeee (:
haha. i smiled which lasted throughout e entire
next day.
thank u eeeduh again for letting me off again. haha
i had oreocheesecake on monday with my darling girlfriend.
i swear our mondays are self-declared oreocheesecake days.
haha. took bus 21 with her. den stop at hai seng.
den guess who we saw?
RIFAHH!
haha. e whole bus stop went into maddness.
waited for the bus for almost half an hour or more.
but didnt mind cause i manage to spend e day with
my darling girlfriend.
at night. was loveeeeee again (:
today. another loveable day.
cause there's othello and iago!
i scribbled things in class.
and i realised something...
if its getting somewhere, i'll reach e destination.
if its not getting there, i'll stop somewhere eventually.
i cant make someone love me,
all i can do is be someone who can be loved,
the rest is up to the person to realize what i'm worth.
______________________________________________
countdown: 8days
without you its hard to survive
FIFTEENTH OF JANUARY TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN.
15012007
its been a month!
how time flies. already a month
and it feels as though its been months since we met.
ok. before i go further into the flashback.
recap today!
i didnt got to school. fever and flu and horrible cought.
mikeee. i missed practical.
but i rather miss one practical den missing a'lvls.
haha. chey chey.
and i heard 98.7fm. guess what.
that emo mamat (ameer) was punk'd by his own friend.
hahaha. so typical of him.
'do u haf a gf?'
'yeah my guitar!'
seriously begging to be slapped.
but its good that such pranks are played on him,
on national radio station! hahaha.
thank god got no face shown. hahaha. pity pity.
k. exactly a month ago. ard this hour as i'm typing.
i had my first dance (:
it was indeed a memorable night.
a night that i doubt i'd forget ever.
i still have the blue lightstick with me.
15 december 2006.
was like a fairytale come true.
everything was so perfect.
and wanna know what was the most perfect thing?
the person starring right in front of me the whole night.
almost everyday after that has been a miracle
though there has already been some heart cracking moments.
we've met five times eversince and things are still great (:
that night, exactly a month ago.
i was embarassed like crazy.
eeeduh and khalis had fun teasing,
not just them but almost everybody who knew.
dunno how u stayed cool about it,
with all those candid shots they took.
thank god u werent in the bunk.
everything started there and then.
panic like crazy. pespire like crazy
tied and untied hair.
eeeduh check here and there.
khalis, syimah, aminah, dawn and diyana
disturb here and there while they help
with the final checks. haha.
(reminds me of a car inspection!)
even then i didnt dare to go up to the dancefloor.
damn scared and shy. i held hands with eeeduh.
everything was so panicky it seems for me. haha.
and there was ravi. haha. saved from him by you.
sabo-ed up the stage.
me and you.
charles and dawn.
zaki and june.
main culprits who made 15th december 2006 happened.
besides darling idah and khalis.
owe it all to them? i dunno.
haha. but we manage to escape.
behind e nearest block.
had a great time chatting with ya,
at the same time trying to be quiet and not blush.
imagine walking thru that whole stretch of grass in heals.
dont think i'd make it without ur help (;
to say everything in detail of what happened that night
wouldn't matter cause it doesnt tell the tale and
feelings just by reading it.
we didnt spend most of the time on the dancefloor.
but the benches behind it with charles and dawn.
the look on someone's face was so unforgetable
and thanks to you, i had all the reasons to smile that night.
and forget the things that happened in the past with the same someone.
thank you for not letting go of...
throughout the whole night (;
coincidentally, the radio had to play this song.
so njoy people (:
Westlife- I Lay My Love On You
Just a smile and the rain is gone
Can hardly believe it yeah
There's an angel standing next to me
Reaching for my heart
Just a smile and there's no way back
Can hardly believe it yeah
But there's an angel, she's calling me
Reaching for my heart
I know, that I'll be ok now
This time it's real
I lay my love on you
It's all I wanna do
Everytime I breathe I feel brand new
You open up my heart
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
I was lost in a lonely place
Could hardly even believe it yeah
Holding on to yesterdays
Far, far too long
Now I believe its ok cause this time it's real
I lay my love on you
It's all I wanna do
Everytime I breathe I feel brand new
You open up my heart
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
I never knew that love could fell so good
Like once in a lifetime
You change my world
I lay my love on you
You make me feel brand new
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
I lay my love on you
It's all I wanna do
Everytime I breathe I feel brand new
You open up my heart
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
I lay my love on you
You make me feel brand new
You open up my heart
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
also my greatest thanks to a few special people.
my darling girlfriend Zahidah. for letting me off for that night.
haha. no lahh. for just being a true sweet darling girlfriend always.
no matter what and when. thats why i love her soo very much.
and i still love her. even if i'm sharing her with mr farhan and she's
sharing me.
khalis, for sabo-ing me that very instant during the forum.
i dunno how RED i got but yeah, congratulations that
was the first time i blushed so much! even much more during
VS Dramafest.
charles. the bugger who initiated everything.
who went to tell the person the whole thing.
who contributed more to the blushing throughout the day.
who pushed me to him that night.
who kept teasing me throughout the night.
and who was being pushed by him for teasing me, thank god.
you're the best bro.
and the rest of the people that night.
it was damn weird having people starring.
and farhan, the camera shots were a living nightmare alright.
e east clann, i miss u guys. thanks for the support.
esp rifahh, antonio and feeeq. sayang korang.
i actually bothered to think why was it weird.
den i think its cause,
people dun knw the rest of the couple.
thats why. yeah. i shall settle for that.
it doesnt matter anyways.
truly is a night to be remembered.
where bonds are forged and tightened.
and relationships are made.
as for you and me
let nature takes its rightful path...
________________________________________________
countdown: 16days
i still feel ur touch in my dreams (:
today is THE most FUNNEST day since
1101-1140.
morning. i woke up early and got ready to
go to the cemetary. its been a while since i've been there.
a month i think. went to visit grandad's grave.
from the looks of it, i think the last people who were there,
is us. very sad. i remembered a book i read abt religion.
everytime we visit someone's grave, God would allow
his spirit to be there so that he can see us. instantly,
tears start to roll down my cheeks. i miss my grandad dearly.
i'm very close to him. since birth. )':
time really flies, it has been almost three years since he passed away.
but everything that happened is still clear in my mind...
like once said to me,'hey u shd be happy he's at some place better'
smiles ((: ur so sweet.
after that went to my other grandad's grave.
the place is quite clean. cause my dad's siblings
come visit quite regularly.
dont get me wrong. its not that i'm so biased
so as not to show feelings for my paternal grandad's death.
but when he left us, i was quite young. ten years ago.
time really flies. cause i can still rmb clearly everything that
happens...
last 2 graves that we visit.
belonged to my aunt and uncle.
flashes of the things that happened are still
very fresh in my mind. the drive.
the drive past. the images. everything.
sadly, nothing is done to ensure that the grave is
properly kept. my cousin is happily spending the money
that she received. and i guess, she's too busy spending it
to ensure that her parents' graves are properly kept.
greed takes control over those who are too weak to fight it.
i pray to God that he protects me such things.
i like going to the cemetary.
but i like calling it the graveyard.
there's this feeling that is very hard for me to describe
that takes over everytime i step into the graveyard.
i feel much closer to God. and there's this feeling of
remorse looking back at the things i've done.
sadly, as a Muslim girl, its not advisable for me to one
to one without a muhrim. (someone like my dad/brother)
the serenity and calmness of the entire place.
it just sinks into you there and then.
i am aware that what i see isnt what exactly that
is going on deep below.
but i believe that things would be peaceful and calm,
if during one's lifetime, he/she does the things
that seek God's love and nothing against.
kk. lets switch away from this solemn mood.
after that i went over to my aunt's place.
waited for my elder cousin to come home.
and me, siddiq, big bro, shafiq, my mom and dad
and my lil bro went over to causeway point.
to get my phone changed. but apparently there isnt
any interesting promotions. so the idea is postponed
till cny. insya-allah i'll get my w850i or nokia 5300.
haha.
GUESSS WHAT.
TAUFIK BATISAH WAS THERE TOO!
he had his album autograph session there.
the funny thing happened when e song
'Usah Lepaskan' was played.
e three of us practically ran up thinking that he was singing.
but of course we were punk'd. it was just the CD.
FIRST time see him up close.
makkkkk.
he's DAMN GOOD LOOKING.
he has got disticnt features.
nice big round eyes, sharp nose, nice smile.
MELTS. hahaha. i practically stood there and
was like, " haha. i didnt know he's that good looking.'
TRYING damn hard to be cool and calm.
even my mummy agrees that he is.
omg. omg. omg. omg. omg. omg. omg. omg. omg. omg.
i think i spent like the entire 5 minutes standing in the middle of
no where STARRING at him. haha.
in conclusion. guys with mixed indian blood is HOTT.
just look at TAUFIK.
but i know that it takes more than looks to be a good
bf/husband/lifelong friend.
cause looks dont last forever.
mikeeeee. check out the pics.
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I LOVE THIS PHOTO! hahahaha. DROOOLS.
kk. breathe. THIS. is the BESTEST thing that
happened today, 14 January 2007.
after that went back to aunt's place.
and i went to tell her how GOOD LOOKING TAUFIK is.
haha. and she added on to his OTHER QUALITIES.
do i love my family or what.
haha. even my mom agrees k. for ONCE she say
my taste is good. hahaha. mikeeeee. at least got credit.
after that we proceed to CityPlaza. went to eat
Arnold's. by then, my energy also has run dry.
me and siddiq fell sick by then. mikeee.
my nose is damn runny lah. whole body felt weak after that.
got home. all of us lie in front of the tv
and watched the day after 2moro.
mikeee. my aunt made sooo much noise lah.
haha. panic panic.
but from what i know, the real tsunami happened
3 months after the movie is shown. sighh.
my aunt left after that. leaving my big bro
here with us cause he has to book in.
watched the news. A LOT of natural disasters
are happening around the world.
quite scared though, what if...
k nvm.
another news that made me sit up straight.
there's a train accident in Bangkok.
mikeeee. next time, people next time do check out
where exactly in Thailand ok.
i'm having the goosebumps everytime
the news decides to come in.
but i know u're taking care of urself.
unlike me, u're a very careful person.
thus i shall conclude that i should just
chill and relax.
my prayers are still always with ya.
wherever you are, whatever you do.
dont be too happy now.
u dont understand what i mean.
and i doubt u would.
haha. i love eeeduh.
she's my dearest darling girlfriend.
dont jealous ahh.
eeeduh shall take me shopping.
eeeduh has found a shop to get my prom dress
(damn early lah ehh! block test oso havent take yet!)
eeeduh shall put my bad hair days to an end.
so in conclusion.
eeeeeduh is mine, and i'm sharing her with mr farhan.
haha. love ya babe.
(mikeeee, i wrote a whole paragraph about u sia eeeduh)
_____________________________________________
countdown: 17days
i'll never be alright, till you are back to me.
its a tiring day today (for a sick being like me)
had dikir practice in the morning of which i'm late for.
didnt manage to wake up in time due the medication.
after that ard noon, cikgu azmi came and we started
dance practice. felt damn semangat(enthu) abt it.
first time. but hey, i thought to myself, since i'm already
in this thing, might as well give it my best shot (:
slacking time was fun. i lie on khai's lap.
i miss lying on someone's lap and then have that someone's
hand playing with my hair. grrr. *knocks head* reality check.
i learned how to play the rebana. damn cool.
syaf say i'm a fast learner. haha. oh wells. i like music.
but very paiseh, play outside dance studio where the
canoeing and soccer people are. mikeeee embarassing k.
got my dosage of aromatherapy. no not overdosed this time.
i wish though. haha.
unlike yesterday, i seriously think i was overdosed with
aromatherapy. damn high and crazy. but
aromatherapy is goooooood (:
practice ended ard 3.30pm. damn shacked.
never thought contemparary malay dance is
this tiring but heck, its fun doing it with e other babes.
went home straight. got changed, went to my parents room,
lie on my parents bed as they were watching tv, and eventually
i fell asleep till ard 8pm.
very long? i think so too.
i guess sleeping is the best way to pass time especially during
the weekends. at least during weekdays, i have tutorials and
lectures and assignments and everything else to keep my mind
occupied. mikeeeeee.
staying home makes me think of things i shouldnt be thinking about.
k. i think i should stop.
_____________________________________________________
as that day approaches, i feel less excited about it.
i'm not gonna do nething to celebrate it coming.
about the fact that i'm gonna have the number 7 that's behind
a 1 to be changed to 8.
not excited at all. unlike the year before this.
maybe nana's right. and i hate to admit it.
when u do something for someone u shdnt expect it back.
but to know whether they are true
den its not about expecting it, cause u'll see it coming.
the only thing tt i'm looking forward to
on that day is the RETURN
and the fact tt i would be sharing the 'special' day
with 2 other people from Phobos 3. cool huh?
mikeeee. i think i'm having the b-day blues.
having the number behind the 1 to be changed from
7 to 8. and it comes only once in a lifetime.
so i thought of doing something memorable.
something small, yet memorable.
but i think i should just stop here. (:
________________________________________________
okay. i tink i should stop saying mikeeeeee.
influence from danial izzat is not good.
apparently the whole soccer boys and friends and girlfriends are
using mikeeeee in school. so i must stop.
besides, scared someppl take it wrongly and think mikeeee is
refering to some boy when its a figure to speech. somewhat.
dont want that happening (:
hrmmmm. what should i change it to? =/
makkkk. there.
______________________________________________
i'm sorry i didnt reply to that msg of urs.
cause i dont know how to.
i wish to think that we're good friends
just like fahmi, zul and shahril.
brothers is more like it.
and its not that
i forgot or dont bother.
but i was sad.
it was 1101-1140
_______________________________________________
makk. i just realised something n shall make things clear.
i said i lie on KHAI's lap.
khai here is khairani k. NOT a guy.
_______________________________________________
so many natural disasters are happening throughout the world.
masya-Allah. land slides, flooding, tsunami warnings, earthquake.
mikeeee. its a sign from God for us not to take things so lightly.
i do pray that order is restored soon. i mean, everything is
so chaotic now and everything.
at least its clear now that it doesnt take two planes
to crash into building to shake the world.
all it takes, is just a lil bit too much rain, a lil bit ground shake
and everything else happens =/
i just hope things are fine over there.
and especially hope you are taking care of urself.
my prayers are always with you.
__________________________________________________________
i am thankful that God created me in such a way.
at least i know my limits as a Muslim and as a girl.
thanks to the kecacatans that i have.
i've turned over a new leaf.
Alhamdullillah, i'vetried not to miss prayers.
what i see just now after dance practice, wow.
never thought i'd see my friends to be like that.
but yeah, they are pretty. so yeah. everything
and anything suits them (:
hafiz is right. i should learn to love myself.
but i'm happy to be me.
isnt that enough?
mikeeeee. i am affected a lil when i see the people ard me.
could tell i'm lacking in everything and everywhere.
but i kept telling myself that people should like me
for who i am. mikeeeee. i need to try harder than that.
but yeah. insya-Allah, i'll be fine. Amin.
2moro. am going out with my parents.
for once, i wanna go shopping and get myself
new set of clothes. i realised something while
i was thinking about it, i've never actually bought nething
from a shopping mall in singapore with my parents.
its always been overseas. mikeeeeeee.
grrr. after being in singapore like all my life? mikeeeeeeeee.
so yeahhh. and insya-Allah, i'll get my new phone 2moro along
with a new plan.
a new hair do? i dunno. but i think i'll need eeeduh for this.
so yeah. i can wait.
cant believe that tt dearest girlfriend of mine said
that she want to do me up for my prom.
hahaha. so now no need to think so much.
she's also gonna be my consultant and adviser.
haha. wah wah wah. already taking full responsibilities
as a girlfriend. i likeeeee (:
happily eating marshmallows...
________________________________________________________________
lyrics of a song to share w u guys by my fav boyband.
njoy!
westlife - in this life
For all I've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch you set me free
Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you
For every mountain I have climbed
And ever raging river crossed
You were the treasure that I longed to find
Without you love I would be lost
Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you
In this life, I was loved by you
________________________________________________________________________
countdown: 18days
time goes by slowly for those who wait..
thursday thursday thursday.
shortest day of the week so far.
but still got tarian to go for. (not complaining)
the day went well.
i ran 4 rounds round the track without
stopping. haha. amazed myself. i didnt expect
to be able to do it ah. cause havent been
training much. now can feel all these old
muscles being tensed. haha.
i hope at the rate i'm going, things would
go on fine, the way i want it to be. insya-allah.
after break had 2 other subjects which went OK.
haha. nothing more than that. cause both lectures.
after maths lecture, i went away for a while to make
a phone call. i'm such a dumb dumb when it comes to this.
- ' can i call you? say ard 11.15am.'
-' sure, in the future, dont hafta ask. just call. it'd be nicer if it was a surprise. haha.'
see what i mean. bummer.
alrights. so after maths lect, i sneak away for a while to make
the phone call. even then, u managed to tease me. sheesh.
even if its down to the final one hour. grrrr.
my phone is officially screwed. i'm gonna get a new phone,
insya-allah by this weekend. haha. early birthday present?
hahaha. oops. i said the b-word.
so hidd's phone came to the rescue.
mr wee came in to the ava room. 5 mins later then
i pop-ed in. grrr. why wasnt there a break btwn tt lesson
when i needed it the most. so went in for gp.
we viewed this horrible terrible video on animal farming.
it was seriously GROSS. i swear to God it was.
i'm am VERY VERY VERY ( i cannot stress this enough) THANKFUL
that i can only consume HALAL meat. cause if not, i think i'd have
turned into a VEGETARIAN the moment i saw that video.
everything in that video was sooooo cruel lah. how these
agricultural farming runs and how they run their business
to provide us with the meat that is on an increasing demand.
throughout this, i was messaging.
' its the final countdown. haha'
sheesh. lame. anyways, 11.40am. e goodbyes came.
after gp. had modern writing tutorial.
read this passage by Ernest Hemingway, ' Hills like White Elephants'
its very cool, the way Hemingway wrote this story.
and Mr Wee, he's just very good lah. i dunno how he could
absorb the role of each and every character so fast. grrrr. envious.
i guess thats the reason why he's the teacher and we're the students.
i think lit by far is the bestest subject in year 2.
haha. and chemistry cause mr wong is just ever so cool.
geog is also okay cause mr chen finally made geography something
tt makes sense. haha.
after that we had compass. another fun thing of the day.
we had this 'talk', well actually from a video.
motivational talk. about the values one should possess in order
to reach success. i think its very helpful and insya-allah i'll
try to adapt to some of the values tt has been mentioned.
they showed this video of a woman who has got no hands.
but she was able to do things which normal people can.
using only her feet. she has a baby girl which she takes care of.
she changed her diapers, she put her to sleep, she brushes her toes thru
her hair, she folds the laundry, she types on the keyboard...
SubahanAllah... the wonders of God. coming to think about it.
she, a person who is incomplete can achieve such greatness in her life,
why can't we? i mean she has to sacrifice strength and energy in order
to make things happen in her life. in order to get things done. i guess if we
put in a lil bit more of hard work and determination and have the will
to succeed, i think God would be so very kind and grant us with our wishes.
i went to get hotdog prata after that before heading home.
and later in the evening, went back to school for dance.
which wasnt too bad. haha. SYF'07. haha. not badd ahh ((:
mikeee. i haf the dikir song STUCKED into my brain cells. helpp.
i'm so very tired. just completed some of my maths and chemistry
tutorials. i shall be a good girl and do my tutorials from now on.
as promised ((:
___________________________________________________________
i read back what i wrote yesterday.
maybe revealing too much of my own identity
isnt a good idea afterall.
not everyone could accept the way people are.
even though i'm happy to be me.
but i know i have characteristics that makes me
whack-able. I need to make the changes, bearing in mind
that i wanna do it cause I think that its important for me.
my necklace broke. i hope things are fine wherever u are.
also, my pendant kinda has stains on the flipside.
i'm not superstitious but yeah. i pray that things are okay
and that you are safe and sound. shall take it for cleaning
2mr after school ((:
i wish i could make this feeling go away.
i've lost the right to feel this way.
i wish i could believe
______________________________________________________________
countdown: 20days
there's a path for everyone
just believe and hold on.
third day of school!
so far school is not bad. i mean with people like
hidd, newrule, adi, shalini, satee, leo, gabby, ray,
yatz, umairah, qis, minahdira, danial izzat, doris,
chaijun,ruiqi and hsiangyin. the class is never boring.
alhamdulillah, i thank god for making me fated to be
in the most non-nerdy science class ever.
monday!
series of lectures. goshh. it was tiring.
but surprisingly the day went on pretty well.
haha. was msging raph during breaks.
guys do pms too! haha. really i swear.
went to meet my darling eedah after school.
we went to starbucks, shared a grande cup of
CHOCOLATE FRAP and OREO CHEESECAKE.
talk about heaven manx ( i guess thats why it was a great
start to the day) and it was damn romantic can?
haha. okayy. so we went off on our seperate ways.
and tt bugger tell me tt he's not dropping by cause
chalet cancelled. grrr.
well at least the night ended off VERY PERFECTLY.
tuesday
another longg day in school.
had dikir practice aft school. fun sia. though faluuu laughed at me.
haha. i miss having him in class. SERIOUSLY.
he sooo is e property of s06502. i mean he sticks with
us drg breaks and not his new OG. mikee.
i concentrated well in class still despite the fact of being quite
sleepy. CHOCOLATES SAVED ME.
soccer guys training is very tough. flower fragrance is in soccer.
za say he has got a hot bod. haha. nampak je eh za.
ooh! LITERATURE TUTORIALS are very fun now.
seriously. we are doing drama's now and we're learning it
in a damn cool wayy! back in year 1, tuesdays are always the
hateable day. but NO. this time, tuesdays are fun! haha.
i'm gonna work hard and score for lit manx. i mean, its all worth
the fun! mom fetched me from school. slept a while before
doing my tutorials and raph msged asking me take over his place
for a while. haha. duhh i turned down the offer. i will assist
the one taking over his place, but not do it for him.
i've got great sensei(s) whom have taught me well. -moment of silence-
kener lectured by ppl - reminded me to eat my meals. and teased me again. baskett.
today!
cca recruitment day = horrible and embarassing.
makk we did dikir tt gets a grade A for effort and U for
entertainment. haha. but at least we had fun. haha. i know
i did despite having to embarass myself. den after tt
there was dikir practice again. OH YEAH. there's like
GOGO in our school! (e one where u find when u go to cavana, tt sells
cheeseballs, cheese hotdogs, etc.) makk. all of us had tt for
breakfast and lunch. i had prata hotdog. it was goood. haha.
we bumped into flower fragrance again. yeahhhh.
den after that rushed off to meet my admin and central
training team. haha. only me and shahril were the 'seniors'
and the rest were our juniors. kinda missed my clique.
oh wells, i know we'll meet up soon. *hint hint*
we bumped into apriee and ________.
after everything was done, most of them went to play pool.
e 4 remaining and i went to get our dinner. after that,
went off to meet raph. and pass him his stuff. and get his
giro form from him. yue sheng was with me when i was
otw to meet him. grrr. so weird.
being in this team would be very very very interesting indeed.
after that, i rushed home. yay (:
e countdown starts today: 21 days.
its gonna be a long three weeks.
___________________________________________________
i had time to think about what i've become.
i've been avoiding things which i know that would
come knocking on my door sooner or later.
is being like this means tt i'm in denial?
i'm being who i am. but there's this other me
which i've not shared with the world. maybe just one.
he's seen tt other side of me. only him.
hate the feeling when i walk pass people who has their
loved ones by their side. especially i've been spendg 2 days
in a row with a friend who has a bf in the same school.
goes everywhere and does everything with him. grr.
i dunno what feeling tt is but seriously its kinda painful at
times when u bump into these kinda people once too many.
but i'm aware of the decision i made. its just gonna be
me and my lil world for a quite sometime.
i hope this tinge of jealousy fades away.
but the thing is it keeps coming back.
whyyy?
i pray for ur happiness no matter hw i'm feeling
____________________________________________________
a song from backstreetboys over the radio.
I tried to pick the pieces up
And I can't think of starting over
We used to share the stars above
I don't wanna think it changed
And now I gotta move on
I've gotta catch up to the world
Even though I gave you my life
As wrong as it seems I know it's right
But is there a place that I can go away
To escape the love that I will forever know
Where can we go from here
All I know is that I love you still
Sometimes we do things against our will
I know I cry lonely tears
Where can we go from here
Why, why do I cry inside
When love is gone away
And how,How can I carry on
When I know all the love is gone
Where can I go to get away
From the pain of loving you
Tell me where
Where can we go from here
All I know is that I love you still
Sometimes we do things against our will
I know I cry lonely tears
Where can we go from here
_______________________________________________
it contains lyrics tt are deep.
but i dont agree to every part of it.
let what i feel and how i feel be concealed.
and revealed again when there's one whose
willing to...
where can we go from here?
sunday bloody sunday
a song i just heard over the net.
went out with idah to get stuffs for school.
and a gift.
i'm scared. i'm pissed (well not totally)
i dunno what to do. whether to ask further
or just let it be. cause if i ask further, ppl get
irritated so equals to being more pissed.
if i dont ask, ppl think i dont care.
makk, what to do?
anyways, i'm happy still. i got my christmas wish!
i got my friends back. i mean, things are FINE now.
alhamdullillah. sgt anei helped a lot.
how? confused. hurt. pissed.
_________________________________________
i watch Kuch Kuch just now.
reminded me of my childhood days. with my childhood friend.
i think teenage years drift people a part. haha.
look at us then and compare us now. as if we dont know each other.
but anyways, life goes on. and we still do meet up
when our families does. just that things are weird lah.
from being like twin siblings, to becoming two strangers.
ohh wells. a forwarded msg always saves the day.
hope it works.
____________________________________________
3:03 AM
the last and final day of orientation came and went.
was damn sad lahh.
phobos lost )))):
but heck. the best part of the whole thing is we all
had fun bonding with the FRESHIES. haha.
lets re-cap what happened.
we had some quiz to start of the day.
than the best thing, MASS DANCE. haha.
i'm lovin' it!
and then we started doing Wet and Wild.
haha. i got seriously drenched thanks to the Game ICs.
not a good thing manx. my feet got very sore by the time
the game ends. it was really damn painful.
stayed in school as we had to take height and weight.
i'm 45kg! fat sia. after that at 1530hrs we went to the
hall to meet our OGM. haha. they were quite shacked lah
after the wet and wild. but really we had a lot of fun.
e girls styled the guys hari for them using soap. haha.
should have seen how worried the guys looked, and the vainity
is clearly shown in their faces. how i wished i had a camera along with me.
basically all the stations that we went to would require us to get
wet from head to toe.
this year campfire is not as fun as ours. but it was still worth
loosing my voice for. haha. the performance part is always
the most boring part cause only the houses of e grp thats prsenting
would be listening and the judges. so yeahh.
ooh yesss. flower fragrance is really charismatic. i swear. i tot
flower fragrance is a retainee but he's not. rather the hot stuff of phobos.
and his name is so contradicting to the role he played, E BAD GUY.
OgLs had a lot of false alarm of the Mass Dances.
There's this house that played Accidentally In Love, me and kenneth,
wei jia and bao2, jas and sebas and other OGLs started to dance e couple dance ready.
guess what, only a portion of the song is being played. WAHHHSEYY.
but in the end we managed to dance lah. all the songs. inclusive the dances
which were not taught during orientation.
my favourite dance is lets get it started. and of course the couple dance.
hahaha. really had a fun time lah that night.
faluuu say i damn semangat dance. duhh right, i lost my voice might as well
loose every amt of energy i haf before school officially starts for me.
i saw faluuuuu's gf. hahaha.
everything ended damn late lah. though we were suppose to evacuate
from school by 9.30pm. haha. phobos, we did the sexayy version
of tokyo drift. lead by Shude. believe it or not he made the
OgLs stand in the middle of the circle to do it. grrrr.
so malu-ating cann?? den we made one big circle, combining all
the Og in phobos and did a few phobos cheers. hahahaha. kener kick out
by council. Cedarians wanted to meet up but got no time. shhheeeshh.
den phobos 3 gathered at the atrium and we went out of school to haf dinner.
told mom that i would be having dinner out. and she allowed. quite shocked lah.
so yeah, we took quite sometime to decide where to go. so we took 53 and plan
to alight at whitesands, but guess what, we end up at Changi Airport instead.
eat macs, and went to the viewing mall to eat. haha. damn funny.
got time to still cheer ehh. so funny. i swear everyone was loooking lah.
a whole big grp of ppl in RED shirts, sitting at the airport at 11pm!
talked to the boys of the grp. haha. they quite kpo in a way. haha. but fun lah
e bonding session. me and liying always kener stopped by the grp cause
we tend to talk abt cedar things too much. haha. oopps. sorry.
due the fact of being too playful. fire extinguisher fell on my leg.
dunno why it wasnt on its hook, but yeah it dropped on my leg.
so yeahh, it hurts like crazyy. yay. so i decide to leave.
so did liying, jeremy and sandra. went home and got the leg attended to.
it really was very fun lah. mayb not much as on the field
but the after effects of it. even if i haf an injury. haha.
todayy. i had TARIAN from 10am till like 5pm.
ooh plus DIKIR practice. makkk. i almost died in there ah.
cikgu azmi damn pms today. dunno why. den damn obvious i JUST
joined in, so like obv blurrr ah. den he scold2. cheesecake.
dikir was fun though. haha. i'm gonna play the rebana i think.
went home and went over to aunts place.
I DRESSED UP FOR IT LAH EH.
cause aunts bday gathering.
seriously MACIAM GIRL! hahaha.
wear skirt, shirt, took time to do the hair, e earings,
the bracelet, e necklace. makkk. i oso stunned sia.
hahaha. but will only occur at certain occasions.
met up with my cousins. haha. so havoc like crazy.
they say if they can buy 4D they wud cause today like
first time i like this. wth. my aunt said tt since i'm
gonna be 18 soon so must like be more lady-like.
hahaha.
actually coming to think abt it. as compared to
ps, apriee and fons. i damn rough and un-girl.
the other day went out, i wore shirt and jeans with flats.
e other 2 really looked matured. i just realised. OMG.
nvm lahh. i'm just happy to be me. even if i a lil bit am immature.
one should accept me for who i am waat.
i pity SHAHRiL seriously. DAMN FUNNY.
shant elaborate on it. hahahaha.
___________________________________________________
7 days haf flown by since last saturday.
loads of precious memories to be carried along.
___________________________________________________
argh. damn why do i feel a tinge of jealousy.
i really dont think you should get involved in e girls prob.
maybe just get the people whom can help the girl.
stop it shaz =/
_____________________________________________________
every LOVE story
has got TWO names.
shaniszah & ______________
still searching....
second day of orientation!
i was early for school. no wait. the word is
JUST IN TIME.
damn sucky ah, i went out of the house at 6.30am
and still couldnt make it on time. sheeeesh.
so, i did the usuals, cab to school.
started off with the administrative stuffs.
then off to change out into pe attire.
and den, e freshies did mass dance.
lets get it started! haha. i like the dance!
easy to remember, fun moves which just makes u groove.
haha. well not in front of the OGM that is.
after that Game ICs left for the various stations.
me and danson went to get our most impt logistics,
MacDonalds' Breakfast. haha. pooor Daryl had to wait for us.
so yeah, our new station is somewhere near Anglican High.
me danson and this atlas guy plus a photographer were at that station.
i managed to 'complete' my chemistry assignment. not bad ah.
had a lot of fun being with these people. haha. though all guys but
they are gentleman lah. haha. there was something wrong with the
matrix. definitely. after 2 groups came, we went off for lunch.
hawker centre. yikes. but no choice. that place like so isolated
tt there's nothing. so i bought something to take away. dont
feel comfy eating there ah.
basically spent like more than 6hours with this people.
haha. really had a fun time. like seriuosly.
after sooooo long i finally played at the playground again.
haha. e vs phptographer damn bad, push me down the slide.
had fun hiding the clues w the atlas guy. daryl came over couple
of times. so yeahh. joined in the fun.
one group didnt manage to come to our station.
so we thought. but apparently, they claimed that we
werent at our station when they came.
BEGGING to be slap. seriously. me danson the photographer and e atlas guy
were there ALL THE WHILE waiting for our groups.
we spotted our groups that were coming since far away ready.
four out of the five each. and they still dare to complain
that game ics werent there. wahhhhhh. super pissed lah.
thank god kenneth understood the situation. i mean
even if we were at the void deck, the spider web is like JUST THERE.
even if they cant see us, WE can see them. grrrr.
went back to school at ard 4pm. the train was DAMN packed
with meridian freshies and OgLs. haha. we stink up the place too.
same goes for the buses. PACKED to the brim by us. hahaha.
reach school, all were HYPER (esp Phobos OGLS) despite
them being tired. we danced lets get it started and tokyo drift.
haha. i had fun. only that a lil shy lah cause a lot of ppl ard.
sidney went up on stage to dance! wahhhhh. must tell his synmates.
hahaha. it was soooooo hahahahaha :P
scream and shout and cheered like crazy in the hall.
i kinda lost half of my voice. so its fine. haha.
campfire tomorrow. loose it all. hahahaha.
school is gonna start officially on monday.
insya-allah things would work out fine then too.
i've figured a way to do the thing i love most.
TIME MANAGEMENT. gonna start scheduling my time
properly so i can still serve. yesss ah (((((:
______________________________________________________
i'm suppose to make the correct decision and i cant seem
to decide. arghh. it'll be weird to be working in the same
team cause i'm gonna feel weird. also, people would think
its pre-planned. purposely be in the same group.
when in actual fact i'm in there cause i used to help in planning
for the event. if i back out just cause of the reason of being
weird, then its not right. i'll carry out my task.
both of us needs to prove people wrong anyways.
all the best in cca orientation. i'm sure whatever u've planned for
would turn out great. i know u're a perfectionist but set backs
are part and parcel of life. btw, i was just joking abt being scared k.
seriously. loosen up a lil yeah. things would be great. i'm sure of that ((:
_____________________________________________________________
no. you are not a mistake in that sense.
i didnt mean to say that getting together with you is wrong.
and never should have taken place. no. thats not what i meant.
sigh. its been a while since i have tears trickling down my cheeks
until...
______________________________________________________________
God i know
there's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on.
thanks for the smiles ((: amin.