dear passerby,
i dedicate this entry to you. but before i begin, i just want you to know that my intentions
isnt to make a fool out of anyone, especially not you. i really do appreciate your insights
and views even though at times, it didnt come across pleasantly (:
after all the crazy things i did to get my mind off things..
i have come to a point of realisation that,
i'm only human and all i can do is just pray,
and the rest is up to The Almighty to decide.
each time we pray, we ask Allah to grant us with e things we want.
if we dont get it,
we'll keep asking Allah for those things over and over again.
Allah is not deaf, neither does Allah forgets.
probably the reasons for not granting us those things that we want,
is due to the fact that the timing isnt just right, or its a test of how much
you want these things.
sometimes, Allah already have granted these things for us,
but as humans, we tend to forget Allah once we get what we want.
that is why he takes it back, to remind us of The One who made it all happen.
i'm not trying to be all religious and such, please dont get me wrong.
cause i know myself very well and i know i'm far from being one.
but like i said, everything that happens in life, is a learning step.
and i did get what i want. but i forgot The One who granted me
with the gift that i asked for.
maybe thats why all these happened.
well yes, if i had it my way.
i want none of this to be happening.
nobody would.
it could have been so perfect.
but whats life when everything's so perfect.
you have to go thru many obstacles to finally
realise the things you really want (:
as of now, i'm pretty clueless as to why you are
doing all these. cause it seems that your neither
for him nor against me totally...
you've said way too many
things in this short period of time...
trying to evoke different emotions in me for God knows what reasons.
but honestly, its not working very well.
if its anger you're trying to instill, let me just make this clear,
i cant get angry... esp at him. dun knw why..
if its the seed of doubt yr trying to plant,
just stop trying alright. cause i obviously trust him
more than you. and thats how its going to be.
if yr trying to bring sadness to my life,
haha well.. maybe it worked to a small extent.
but it hasnt stopped me from looking at the brighter side of life.
just stop all these kay..
i seriously dont know what else you want from him.
when he doesnt say a word, you say he doesnt care.
and when he does, you're just not satisfied. sigh.
just please, stop questioning him. cause he doesnt
have to answer to you, or to anyone as a matter of fact.
i'm sorry to say this, but you have no right
to say such things about him..
simply because before all this happened,
i had the bestest time of my life.
and he was responsible for that.
dont get me wrong.
its just unfair for you to judge him like that.
if only you were the one who went thru those times
with him, then you'd know why.
cause honestly, i could go on and on about it...
write a whole entry on it...
but even then, you wun be able to get the actual
picture that i want to show you, cause
no words could describe the things that happened (:
the experience and memories of it, is exclusively mine.
love is perfection created by two imperfections.
lies and such are part and parcel of the world that
we're living in my friend.
its happening everywhere in everything.
its a test of how strong your faith in God is
to do what's right for yourself and the people around you,
esp the ones you care for.
passerby,
i could have easily placed password barriers to my blog
to keep you out of my blog, from reading about my life and probably his.
but i'm not doing that cause i know there's other ways to this
so sincerely,
i ask you to please, stop taggin my board and
give us some peace.
let me and him work this out ourselves.
insya-Allah,
we'll find the solution when the time comes..
so please...
just give it a rest alright?
thank you.
yrs truly,
Shaniszah
