General Paper Exam seriously
almost killed me in the process.
i think the essay that i wrote,
is the crappiest one amongst the many
essays that i've written throughout this year.
how sad? ):
the passage was on blogs.
no, its seriously not a good thing.
first passage was FINE.
but when it comes to the second one,
it was as though i'm reading someting in Greek.
not understanding what the main points were.
summary
vocabulary
application question
seriously stranggled me...
and these are the things that carries the most marks in Paper 2.
after that was chemistry..
i used to think Mr Oscar is really good at
making us feel guilty.
but this time, i trully feel guilty.
there wasnt a tone of anger in his voice.
but its a voice with dissappointment.
'what more do you want me to do?'
we're the only science class to have extra
lesson on saturdays. we dont mind these classes
cause our class really needs help. but the fact
that Mr Oscar is spending his time is something we
should think about.
Most of us didnt clear the test, only 2 out of 24
people in the class passed. and the lowest in the level
scores had to come from our class.
these classmates of mine really didnt study.
sigh. so we cant really blame him for making us feel this way.
sometimes i just wish i'm bright enough to be able to absorb
everything that is thought in lecture and be able to understand it.
just like a sponge.
when the time comes, i'm able to pen it down word for word
which would den give me my A grade.
but no, i'm far from being near there.
i was kinda demoralised by my results though
its as bad as some of my friends. but
i really did study and i wasnt able to produce
results. sniffles caught up with me,
and i went home with a cold.
as usual when stress strikes, my eyes
grew heavier and eventually i was in my dreamland.
Thank God i'm able to sleep e feeling away
and kinda get the motivation to start a new.
now, its 4:06am on tuesday morning and i'm
still up and i'm in RSM's office.
i had to finish some Nominall Roll that Idah assigned me to do.
I MISS THE WAY CENTRAL WORKS.
the bad thing abt combined camps,
is the style of working.
i seriously dont understand why people does things
the way they do, but thats not the point.
being used to the way how i was taught by my very
very very pro seniors about admin work,
it shouldnt take very long.
but oh wells..
arghh. i really miss my central people.
okay so there are people like
khalis, khalisah, hassan, audy and joseph
from central here in ADC 02'07
but its nothing like having Fahmi, Shahril,
Ping Siew, Zul and the rest.. seriously.
i forgot to bring my beret.
i cant seem to find my supernumerary badge for my no.4 uniform.
and i'm all alone in an office filled with people who are
asleep. i cant sleep now cause idah hasnt slept for
dunno how many hours, so i have to stay up and finish the
work, which i finished like 2 hours ago..
and later at 6 i need to go down to the PCs and APCs
and pass them some stuff..
i manage to spend time alone...
outside the office... just starring up into the sky.
no, there isnt any stars that i could spot.
but the sky is clear.. cloudless..
i wish i could spend sometime later after my major
exams just sitting under the velvet sky...
with people i treasure most... (:
apakah aku ditakdirkan untuk menemukan cinta?
atau sudah tertulis bagiku
bahawa aku hanya pantas untuk dijadikan
seorang teman?
aku masih tertanya pada diri,
apa sebenarnya yang aku mencari..
adakah seorang teman untuk melalui pahit getir kehidupan ini,
atau seseorang yang dapat membuatku tersenyum dari lubuk hatiku ini..
mungkin aku terlalu mengharap agar
apa yang ku impikan untuk menjadi kenyataan
hingga ia membuat diri ku buta dengan
segala apa yang berada di sekelilingku?
hingga ke saat ini
aku hanya ingin menanti untuk sebuat jawapan.
hanya apa yang aku tahu,
hati kecil ku ini akan mati jika disakiti walaupun hanya sekali lagi...
aku tidak pandai berkata-kata,
dan tidak secantik seperti teman-teman ku,
namun aku mempunyai segumpal hati yang hanya
ingin mencintai dan dicintai...
hoho. i dont think i make any sense at all.
but yeah. i kinda dont even know what i want.
neither can i dismiss this emptiness that i feel..
i wish i am able to put the thoughts and feelings
aside so i can concentrate fully on my studies..
but i guess.. i hafta learn to multi task EMOTIONS.
(:
its only 4.31am
help...
