been quite a while since i've updated.
a lot has happened this week.
today, i've learnt how to appreciate life.
i went to the Institute of Mental Health for CIP.
i was quite calm at first, tried my best not to think
of anything when i was making my way there.
but when shawn brought us up to the ward,
i freaked out.
the special friends were all at the glass door
making a lot of noise and some were waving
and talkings stuffs which i dont understand.
i tot to myself, ' shit, how am i gonna go thru e door
with them being like that?'
' is anything gonna happen?'
but i was relief when Shawn brought us through the other
door. we set up the place and the special friends came in
and sat down at the seats. and volunteers are to
sit next to them.
started off with a few songs, and then some massage
and then some activities.
i was with this old chinese lady, and another probably ard her forties.
almost all of these special friends were the elderly, but some are
really quite young. but i guess their condition, make them look old.
the old lady didnt talk much, and the other one is friendly, and
she spoke english too. lucky for me, i went thru
this mandrin course and it proved to be useful. Alhamdullilah.
e old chinese lady got up frm her seat and went somewhr.
i panicked like crazy. i called shawn.
and he found it quite funny that i reacted that way.
he said, ' they're quite capable you know. some even go to the toilet
on their own.' -smirks-
that was so not sarcastic. grrr.
so yeah i felt damn stupid but hell, it was my first time there.
we had to help them make preparations for CNY.
it was fun, helping them paste the stuffs and make e decorations.
it was touching to see how they all behaved.
every moment of it was a deep learning experience for me.
after CNY preparations, we played games.
shakthi and me had to act out things. charades.
haha i had fun despite making a fool out of myself.
heck, its only Shawn whose there. haha.
food destribution was fun too.
like i said, its a learning experience. every moment of it.
Shawn picked me and shalini to help him. haha it was fun.
seriously. we passed the food ard. giving one cracker to each of them.
and there's like other new year goodies.
one thing that touched my heart was the special friend that
i took care of. when i went round to distribute the food,
she called her friend to sit at my seat. after they both
have finished the portion that was given to them,
that special friend asked for two chinese new year goodies.
i gave her one, cause instructors given were quite clear.
what she did, was that she gave that one i gave her to her friend
and watch her eat. it really touched my heart. its more than just cute.
definitely deeper than that. so i gave her one more, and complimented her.
we ended the day off by singing more songs,
and singing e national anthem.
i was quite disappointed with how my friends reacted.
its okay that they were scared. i was scared too.
but hey, we should have prepared ourselves mentally
when we signed up to offer our help for the organisation.
but how they were acting and everything was kinda bad.
in my point of view.
these people used to be just like us.
but we were lucky that such fate doesnt meet us.
maybe not yet. i mean nobody knows.
i was scared too, but it was when i watched everything
that was going on in the ward. i got quite emotional
when i saw the things they do, how they react and everyting there.
it was like being in a class for nursery kids. only this time,
the kids are far bigger than the usual ones that we have.
i thought, how lucky i am and how fortunate i am to be in the state i am.
something occured to me, what if one day, its me sitting amgst one of them?
i cant predict this kinda things, no one can. cause its purely, God's business.
its true, they dont know what they are doing, but to a certain extent,
they'd have feelings too. and it would hurt if they actually understand whats
going on with my friends. these people are mentally unstable, thus they cant
control their feelings and emotions, i guess thats how sometimes unwanted
behaviour by these people happen. its not that they want it to happen,
but sometimes it what we visitors do that triggers it.
there were two malay special friends amgst the grp of abt 15.
siti and zaiton. one looked malay, the other one blend in with the other
chinese friends. siti was with me when we were doing e decorations
for CNY. she held my arm and told me,
'misi, saya nak balik, besok hari raya haji. dah lama saya
tak balik. dorang tak bagi saya balik. boleh eh misi? tolong lah.
dah lama saya tak balik.' [ nurse, i want to go home. 2moro is hari
raya haji. its been a long time since i've been home, they dont allow me to.
can nurse? please. i havent been home since a long time.]
at that moment of time, i was like having a fussion of emotions
all at one time. i didnt really knw how to react. but i told her,
its better here. there's a lot of friends here. sigh.
another asked for an hong bao. with chocolates in it.
she specifically wanted 3 chocolates. the other, wanted to sing.
so she continuosly entertain everyone with songs.
i overcome my fears, thinking that, what if one day
one of the people seated here is one of my own family member?
would i be scared too? what if its me who suffer such fate?
would i want people to be afraid of me? definitely no...
they are there for a special reason, and we should do our part to help.
and i glad i stayed, despite having to wait for so long.
almost backed out.
besides, the career path that i'm choosing would involve
helping people, irregardless of who they are, where they come from,
in what state they are in. its good preparatory training for me.
haha chey chey chey. but i've made up my mind to become a regular there.
helping these people out along side with the achievers (voluntary organisation)
plus the people there (although kinda a lil crazy) they are very welcoming.
looking forward to the next event.
haha btw, Shawn isnt a classmate of mine.
but rather someone who just took his O'lvls result on friday.
he's a regular there i guess. haha yes, shalu and shatee checking him out.
not bad lah. drama guy. kids united guy. hahaha.
yeap.
i really felt good today.
despite having a hook inserted into e sole of my feet.
its hurting like crazy. i just hope that it gets better soon.
WALKING is a big chore. haha.
Alhamdulillah. Syukur. (:
